Of castles & cars

Husband keeps asking if I'm going to blog about my Thursday morning car accident (don't worry, I'm fine, everyone's fine). I'm still not sure. I don't even know if I can.

Have you ever had an experience that you thought about (and talked about) so extensively that when it came to actually blogging about it, it had already slipped through your fingers like so much dry sand, perhaps never to be built into a sand castle?

The horror!

(via: T-Shirt Humor)

Thought for the day

“Sometimes, when you feel down, it helps to think of unicorns. And how they can impale people on their pointy, stabby, horns. Yay! Unicorns!” ~ Dan

(via: Shoebox Blog)

Wanna know a secret?

I went for a job interview. Shhhh, don't tell anyone. I don't want to jinx it, but I just had to tell someone.

The interview went really well. I was composed and confident and sounded like I knew my stuff (which I do). It's an absolutely remarkable company and I can't stand how much I WANT the job! It'll be a couple of weeks before I know anything, though. That's two weeks to obsess over every nuance of the interview and minutely re-examine every single one of my answers, searching for some obvious faux pas that I must have made. I like to torture myself that way.

After the interview was over, a totally supressed memory popped into my head. It was of a job interview I had a very long time ago that I had completely forgotten about.

I was probably 22 years old, fresh out of school, and I applied for a position at a law firm or a courthouse or something like that (I don't really remember that detail). The interviewer explained to me that the nature of their business would mean that I would be exposed to some rather graphic and disturbing legal cases. He wanted to know if I had a problem with that.

Remembering my brash, foolish answer still makes me burn with embarrassment, even though it happened almost 20 years ago. I actually looked the interviewer in the eye and glibly replied, "I just love reading novels about serial killers and stuff like that, so I don't think it'll bother me at all."

Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

I'm not sure why I flashed back to that particular episode, since it was obviously quite effectively hidden in my subconscious for a very long time, or why it would pop into my head on the heels of such an awesome interview. Maybe it was to remind me how far I've come in my career since my youth?

Or maybe it was just my way of torturing myself a little more. *sigh*

Even if I don't get the job, I was at least able to prove to myself that I can put myself out there again. It felt really good to take the first positive step out of my career rut.

Now I just need to keep on walking.

Hey!

What greeting are you?

I've warmed up to you now, so let me know in the comments what greeting you are.

Thought for the day

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~ Mark Twain

Battle of the sexes

(via: OMG That Rocks)

The internet doesn't know me very well

Or does it?


(Personas ~ via: The Presurfer) (if you can't read the headings, they are: online, military, sports, management, education, news, politics, music, social, medical, professional)

This persona is definitely somewhat skewed because you have to supply a first and last name for it to do its analysis and I only use my last name for professional stuff. When I blog and tweet I'm last-nameless.

So the internet can't possibly know that the two people I am online are actually one and the same. Which would make this profile only half right. Right?

It's official. I'm sick.

Adultitis is a common condition occurring in people between the ages of 21–121, marked by chronic dullness, mild depression, moderate to extremely high stress levels, a general fear of change and, in some extreme cases, the inability to smile. Patients can appear aimless, discontented, and anxious about many things. Onset can be accelerated by an excess burden of bills, overwhelming responsibilities, or a boring work life. Generally, individuals in this condition are not fun to be around.

Extremely advanced cases of Adultitis can result in certain physiological appearances and behaviors, such as a wrinkled brow, hunched or droopy shoulders, a visibly frenetic pace, excessive frowning, and empty, zombie-like stares.

(via: Adultitis.org)

Fast forward

Click on the image to biggify
(image credit: Winston Rowntree ~ via: Cracked)

Thursday thirteen: 13 humorous bits of wisdom (or wise bits of humor)

I'm participating in Thurday thirteen!

I didn't write these, I just collected them so I could share them with you. =D

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

4. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

5. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

6. Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

7. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

8. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

9. God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

10. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

11. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

12. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

13. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

If you like lists as much as I do, you can follow my list-ventures on Twitter!

Once bitten, twice shy

I did something to my foot. I don't know what I did or how I did it, but it feels like something is cracked inside the top of my right foot. I know that sounds overly vague, but trust me, the pain is highly specific.

So anyway, I've been hobbling around for two days, in incredible pain, stubbornly refusing to go see my doctor. My reasoning is this: since I don't recall actually doing anything to cause this injury, it is therefore a NON-injury and will disappear as quickly as it appeared. It makes sense to me.

I did break down last night and ice my foot in the hopes that it would help speed the disappearance of said non-injury. I used one of those gel-pack things that can go in the freezer or the microwave. Mine was in the freezer.

So I wrapped the gel thingy in a towel and put it on my foot, but it didn't feel cold enough. The towel was preventing my foot from getting the full benefit of the cold, so I got rid of the towel and put the ice pack directly on my foot. And then I left it there. For a couple of hours.

When I removed the cold pack, my foot felt comfortably numb. I was, however, also sporting two wicked-looking red splotches on my skin, each accompanied by a slight burning sensation.

I'm pretty sure I have frostbite. In August.

Why can't I come up with something this brilliant?

Jason Sadler has been selling the upper part of his wardrobe every day this year to companies that want him to wear t-shirts with their logos on them. He sold January 1st for $1, January 2nd for $2, and so on until December 31st which is worth $365. 2009 is already completely sold out and so is part of 2010.

By the end of this year he will have earned $66,795. Just for wearing t-shirts (something my husband does every day for free)! The guy is freakin' brilliant.

(via: NicheGeek.com)

I'm getting a thousand of these printed

(image credit: The Glamorous Life Association ~ via: Miss Cellania)

Thought for the day

(image credit: Miss Muffin)

"Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you." ~ Aldous Huxley

Or...

Maybe my job isn't so bad

[YouTube link]


[YouTube link]

(via: AdFreak)

I know how he feels

Skipper Dan by Weird Al Yankovic

Inertia

(via: Savage Chickens)

Hail to the king!

Husband, Child and I went to see The Lion King musical this afternoon. When it comes to The Lion King movie, I can take it or leave it, but the live performance was breathtakingly spectacular! As the creatures swept into the theater during the first magical number, I even got a little emotional. The whole show was absolutely spellbinding. It was a feast for the eyes and the ears ... and for the soul as well.

Remind me in the future, though, that there are some moronic parents out there with more money than brains who have absolutely no problem shelling out over $300 for tickets and then allowing their 18 month old to shout at the top of his lungs for an extended period of time until several other audience members finally have to ask them to remove him from the theater. Hopefully your reminder will cause me to reconsider ever buying tickets for an afternoon performance again.

Doodle day: flower delivery

Sharpie & embroidery on vintage book page

Thursday thirteen: 13 things to do when you're bored

I'm participating in Thurday thirteen!


(image credit: Oceanik)

Disclaimer & shameless plug: These ideas are from 150 things to do when you're bored, originally published on my other blog. They are reproduced here with permission (from me).

There's still plenty of summer left and, for some of us, the long hot days can sometimes be a little ... boring. Here are 13 activities to help fill your days with some FUN.

1. Fry up some marbles and make jewelry!

2. Organize an improvised sports day. Play ping pong on a table with 2 books and a rubber ball. Use plastic bottles as bowling pins. Play basketball or volleyball with a crumpled up piece of paper. Use pens as hockey sticks and a bottle cap as a puck. Or bend wire hangers to make croquet wickets .. and use toilet plungers for the mallets!

3. Go for a whole day without speaking. Can you do it? Challenge friends or family members to join you.

4. Write a letter to yourself to be read at your high school graduation. Or your wedding. Or at your 50th birthday party. What would you tell yourself?

5. Catalog your books. Or inventory your socks.

6. Use chalk to write something encouraging on the sidewalk — in 10 different places.

7. Start an ongoing project — take a photo of something (yourself maybe?) everyday for a year or do something like the Uniform Project to raise money for a charity.

8. Create a childhood in a jar.

9. Engage in an epic waterhose battle. Or how about a shaving cream fight? Or pelt each other with pudding!

10. Organize a traveling meal with your friends (works best if you all live close together). Go to House #1 for appetizers, House #2 for salad, House #3 for soup, House #4 for the main course, and House #5 for dessert.

11. Blow gigantic bubbles.

12. Declare a backwards day! Wear your clothes backwards and start the day off right with a nutritious supper — dessert first!

13. Laugh 400 times today. Keep count.

Still bored? Check out the full list for more ideas!

Celebrating mediocrity

(via: Dilbert.com)

"It is better to seem good than to be good."

I think I might get that engraved on a plaque to hang in my cell cubicle.

Loo logic

The out of order sign was taped to the inside of the door.

I assumed it meant everything OUTSIDE the bathroom stall was effed up.

41 questions, 1 personality

What's your personality type?

I don't have it too ruff

Which Disney mom are you?

I have a problem

When a man holds the door for me I respond by saying, "Thank you very much." When a clerk gives me change I tell her, "Thank you." When someone answers my question I reply, "Thanks."

And what response do I usually get in return?

"No problem."

Huh? When did the lazy, negative "No problem" become an acceptable substitute for the polite, positive "You’re welcome"?

I never before considered that it might be a problem for someone to extend to me a small amount of common courtesy or to – *gasp!* – DO THEIR JOB.

I suddenly feel bad for imposing on them. By telling me it's "no problem" they’ve actually caused me to doubt that it really is no problem. I mean, why would they make a point of assuring me that it isn't?

My advice for the "no problem" people?

Stop straining yourselves! If it's a potential burden to be kind to a stranger, to help a customer, or to share your knowledge, please DON’T RISK IT. You could hurt yourself. Plus, you shouldn't have to suffer the indignity of having to repeatedly explain that, even though someone dared to intrude on your personal space and expect something of you, you don't actually consider it a big enough disturbance to categorize it as a problem.

There, problem solved.

You're welcome.