You never know when blood resistant upholstery might come in handy

Husband sent me this awesome kijiji ad. I wanna buy the guy's truck just to reward him for writing such a kickass ad!

OK, let me start off by saying this Explorer is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Ford would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This SUV was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 155 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's saved my bacon more than once. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $2500 but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $500 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Oh yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 290,000 km on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then email me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my lady, but leave a message and I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

*To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on. "
*truck does not actually include MC Hammer pants*

(via: kijiji)

Can you believe it snowed here all weekend?

(credit: The Big Caption)

C'mon! According to the calendar, Summer starts in 3 weeks!!

10 things challenge - week 3

We found a few kitchen items to get rid of, but we weren't quite as exuberant with this week's purge as we were in weeks one and two. Oh well, as long as we meet the 10 item minimum, we're happy.

Hooray, all this stuff is on its way to the Goodwill now!

Help!

(via: Minimal)

10 things challenge - week 2

For the second week of our 10 things challenge, I ended up taking all of the clothes out of my closet. Anything I wanted to keep went back in (on brand new hangers!) and the rest went to the Goodwill.

I even tried out a nifty new trick. I hung all the hangers backwards on the rack (with the hooks facing back to front instead of front to back).

After each item of clothing gets worn I put it back in the closet with the hanger facing the right way. At the end of a year anything that's still on a backwards hanger will get taken out and donated.



We got carried away again this week (like we did during week 1) and found a bunch of other stuff to get rid of too:



This is an awesome 1950s table with a gray cracked ice Formica top and chrome trim. We bought it years ago at a flea market and we absolutely loved it. I think we only paid about $40 for it — I doubt you could buy an authentic one so cheap today.

Unfortunately we just didn't use it anymore so it had to go. We donated it to charity gave it to G (she offered it a good home before we had a chance to donate it).



These are the table legs. We had to take them off to fit the table in our car. We also donated the laundry basket because we never used it (our washer and dryer are right outside our bedrooms).



This is one of those awesome colorful Ikea tents for kids (all rolled up and put in its package). Child used to play in it for hours — but she's outgrown it now.



Second-hand lawn chairs my mother gave us that I honestly cannot remember ever using.



Some sort of rack for the bathroom that we never even took out of the package!



Some other bathroom thing still in the package!



And yet something else still in its package. Yikes!

Well, they're all out of our house now. Hopefully someone else can get some use out of them.

Thought for the day

(credit: h.koppdelaney)

"Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." ~ Ed Cunningham

May the Force be with you

(via: Darths & Droids)

Today is Universal Day of the Jedi (also known in some parts of the world as Nerd Pride Day, or Geek Pride Day).

It's also Husband's birthday.  Coincidence?  I think not.

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Basic rights and responsibilities of geeks

A manifesto was created to celebrate the first Geek Pride Day which included the following list of basic rights and responsibilities of geeks.

Rights:

1. The right to be even geekier.
2. The right to not leave your house.
3. The right to not have a significant other and to be a virgin.
4. The right to not like football or any other sport.
5. The right to associate with other nerds.
6. The right to have few friends (or none at all).
7. The right to have all the geeky friends that you want.
8. The right to not be "in-style."
9. The right to be overweight and have poor eyesight.
10. The right to show off your geekiness.
11. The right to take over the world.

Responsibilities:

1. Be a geek, no matter what.
2. Try to be nerdier than anyone else.
3. If there is a discussion about something geeky, you must give your opinion.
4. Save any and all geeky things you have.
5. Do everything you can to show off your geeky stuff as though it were a "museum of geekiness."
6. Don't be a generalized geek. You must specialize in something.
7. Attend every nerdy movie on opening night and buy every geeky book before anyone else.
8. Wait in line on every opening night. If you can go in costume or at least with a related T-shirt, all the better.
9. Don't waste your time on anything not related to geekdom.
10. Befriend any person or persons bearing any physical similarities to comic book or sci-fi figures.
11. Try to take over the world!

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The thinks I thought 2 years ago
I should really learn to drink it black

Project time!: 10 things challenge

I keep forgetting to tell you about a new project that Husband, Child and I started! I read about the 10 Things Challenge on Simple. Organized. Life. and we were inspired to try a 10 things challenge of our own.

We want to try to get rid of 10 items (at least) each week for a year (at least). We have too much stuff cluttering up our life and our home. Stuff that has no use for us anymore and adds absolutely no value to our lives.

Before we moved into our house we lived in a 2-room basement suite while we saved money to buy a house. It was TINY! So when we first moved into our house it seemed really empty because we hardly had any stuff.

Not so today. In 10 years we totally expanded to fill up every nook and cranny. All of that untouched space is just ... gone.

Husband, Child and I have committed to finding 10 things (minimum) in our house each week to give away, donate or sell. Some items might have to be thrown away if they're not in good condition, but I would prefer it if someone else can actually get some use from our things. These are items we no longer have a need for, but I don't want to see a bunch of stuff just go to a landfill.

Anyway, we've been working on our new project for 3 weeks now, and we've eliminted TONS of stuff already from our house. So far we've exceeded the 10 item minimum each week — and it was practically effortless!



Week one

The first week we concentrated on getting rid of books we no longer needed, but in our zeal we kind of extended our purge to DVDs, board games, puzzles and toys.

We donated most of the toys and games to the before- and after-school care program at Child's school and we sold the books and DVDs to a used bookstore. We ended up parting with 160 books and 65 DVDs!

Bullshit!

(via: The Desktop Diva)

A change is gonna come

There been times that I thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

from: A Change Is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke


[YouTube link]

Thought for the day

(credit: xcode)

“Every new day is another chance to change your life.” ~ Unknown

I almost forgot to show you

Fortune Scarf from Xenotees

This is what Husband and Child gave me for Mother's Day. Isn't it gorgeous?

I'm a very lucky mommy.

Suckers wanted

Would you pay a thousand bucks to buy this eyesore — plus three more just like it? Well that's how much the somewhat delusional seller is asking for four of them:

I'm selling 4x genuine mid-century (1950s) Royal Metal Manufacturing Co. Chairs. These simple, yet beautifully crafted contemporary pieces are extremely rare. This is a must have for serious collectors of modern furniture.

Extremely RARE? In that case, Child's school is sitting on a frickin' goldmine!!

For a thousand dollars you could buy all of these awesome pieces instead ... also made by Royal Metal Manufacturing in the 1950s:


Sofa & Chair - $475


Chairs & Side Table - estimated to bring $300-$600 (opening bid $150)

I'm totally coveting the green sofa and chair! They would look soooooo cool in a retro modern living room.

... Unfortunately our living room is more what I'd call "battered hodgepodge" (although we prefer to think of it as well-loved eclectic). I'm sure you're familiar with the look.

(Thanks G!)

Able to leap tall cubicles

(via: Shoebox)

Thought for the day

(via: short sleep)

"Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it." ~Unknown

Decisions, decisions

(via: i can read)

I'm trying to decide whether or not to give Husband an iPad for his upcoming birthday (they start taking pre-orders in Canada today). Despite the lousy name, it does look like an awesome gadget. Plus, Husband's ancient iPod Classic is finally starting to die, so an iPad could be a cool replacement.

This handy flowchart is somewhat helpful:


(via: GeekDad)

But I'm still not sure.  Anybody out there have any iPad experiences or opinions to share?

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Want to see what your blog or website will look like on an iPad? You can with iPad Peek!

Happy Mother's Day!

Child drew this for me.

I'm pretty sure she's the reason I was born.

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The thinks I thought 2 years ago:
Creature feature
It must be a mom thing
Thought for the day

You know what I mean

(via: Saying Images)

D. All of the above

(credit: Savage Chickens)

Headlines of the day

Hundreds of Caribou slaughtered in Quebec. Only 1 is charged (via)

Quebec hunter charged after threatened caribou killed in Labrador (via)

(thanks G!)

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The thinks I thought a year ago:
Nowhere is near Ordinary (and I think Ordinary's just outside of Tuktoyaktuk)

Japan's two best exports, together in one awesome place

Samurai Frog writes haiku poems ... about Godzilla!

(via: Miss Cellania)

Thought for the day

(via: Lifehacker)

Corbis interruptus

Husband drives Child to school each morning and their route takes them past the Calgary office of Corbis (the stock photography/image company owned by Bill Gates). 

This morning Child pointed to the Corbis sign and sunnily inquired, "Hey, isn't that the word they used on The Big Bang Theory last night?"

"Um .... no, sweetie," Husband blushed. "That was ... um ... coitus."

A moment in time

We had a chilly breakfast picnic this morning overlooking the Bow River. Sunday morning in the city feels different than any other day of the week.

The hum of traffic was nearly silent, woven into the fabric of murmuring wind and birdsong. Joggers smiled as they bounced past us, their breath trailing faintly behind them in the crisp air. A dog momentarily left his companion behind to wish us a friendly good morning.

We sat on a bench and ate Egg McMuffins, talking and laughing and soaking in the beauty of the day, our hands cupped around our caffe lattes for warmth.


(I'm participating in the with a pencil in my pocket project)

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At 9:00 AM we snapped a photo and submitted it to A Moment in Time, the New York Times project that asked people to take a picture at the same moment all over the world.  See a small sampling of the thousands of photos submitted so far.



I just wish I was a better photographer.  This picture doesn't even come close to capturing how truly special our moment was.

Are you wanting a bigger manhood?

(via: Salon)